How can you miss me when you had me everyday. You did not care for a word I would say. Your friends were your family I would hear you say, Yeah man you never thought you would lose me one day.
What happens now I can not say. You thing you miss me now its going to get worse you really messed me up you took me for granted of course, I have become very strong I have a friend who cares.
Then of course there is my man upstairs.
God hears my cry's he is flushing out my heart through my eyes.I cry with joy I cry with pain, oh but it is non thing like your silly game
I will stay strong how can four little words bring me back after the pain you have caused .I am waiting for more but I do no know what. How much longer have you got.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
No more Me
I drove passed your house the other day just to see why there is no more you and no more me.
Oh how sick to see you there with all your icky boys playing with your stupid toys.
I hid my face I could not breath you broke my heart for all to see.
My eyes are weak full of tears, how I loved you all thoses years.
It is the same old story you often hear. I never knew who you were.
Im a stranger looking in, you live two lives all which are full of sin.
Do you think I was someone so incomplete.
Was I just to carry on walking down that street.
No way thats just not me Im full of life just wait and see. One thing is for certain that is the last of you and me.
My heart still aches but I strong and tough. I looked behind all I see is dust.
Oh how sick to see you there with all your icky boys playing with your stupid toys.
I hid my face I could not breath you broke my heart for all to see.
My eyes are weak full of tears, how I loved you all thoses years.
It is the same old story you often hear. I never knew who you were.
Im a stranger looking in, you live two lives all which are full of sin.
Do you think I was someone so incomplete.
Was I just to carry on walking down that street.
No way thats just not me Im full of life just wait and see. One thing is for certain that is the last of you and me.
My heart still aches but I strong and tough. I looked behind all I see is dust.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Alright
Im ok Im alright they say Im up for a whole new start.
Little do they know Im popping pills all night. Just to try and beat the fight.
Life goes on I cry all night. What went wrong people shouting in my street.
The road says end. It is tonight, police cars coming a riot outside my house.
I kill you homey is all I hear Im Santa Monica going to Kick your arse Venice High.
So crazy so much hate is the world that bad that we have to hit and fight.Im an English girl this is not right.
Please let me just sleep tonight.
I see nothing I do not say a word big gang fights this is not East La.
Just let me sleep.
I pray to God everyday. I guess its time to get out of this mess, go live by the beach it must be less stress.
Little do they know Im popping pills all night. Just to try and beat the fight.
Life goes on I cry all night. What went wrong people shouting in my street.
The road says end. It is tonight, police cars coming a riot outside my house.
I kill you homey is all I hear Im Santa Monica going to Kick your arse Venice High.
So crazy so much hate is the world that bad that we have to hit and fight.Im an English girl this is not right.
Please let me just sleep tonight.
I see nothing I do not say a word big gang fights this is not East La.
Just let me sleep.
I pray to God everyday. I guess its time to get out of this mess, go live by the beach it must be less stress.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Back down again
Im feeling it today all alone and afraid. No where to go nothing to say.
The sun is shining but its black in my heart.
Alone again theres never an end.
So of I go just struggle on, how I wish I had more than one friend.
Everyone knows what to do. I just stay home alone locked up in my place.
Later today Im off into the world.
So scared to make a sound. My heart beats fast the void can not be filled.
38 years I have nonthing to build.
Feelings that ache there is never a break, its back to the running for all my mistakes.
The sun is shining but its black in my heart.
Alone again theres never an end.
So of I go just struggle on, how I wish I had more than one friend.
Everyone knows what to do. I just stay home alone locked up in my place.
Later today Im off into the world.
So scared to make a sound. My heart beats fast the void can not be filled.
38 years I have nonthing to build.
Feelings that ache there is never a break, its back to the running for all my mistakes.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Just a Day
Just today it stays the same, nothing moved still and quite.
The phone rings once it was not him. I know its mean but i just want him suffering. He makes me feel guilty, dirty un clean.
How do you love someone and be so dumb, always thinking that our time will surely come. I will not say hate thats just not right.
It something diffrent Im feeling tonight. He is not missed how can he be. What was I there for just to make the tea.
He loved me lots when I was full of glee siting there in my new nickers happerly. To the bedroom off we went, the act was done no big event.
Whats wrong with you? you can not stay Im up early I have such a busy day.
You are a pig I want to say.
Call me later so I know your safe, all he wants is me out of his place.
Im driveing now on the 405. This place is strange I just seam to be bearley alive
There is no one to call this late at night who cares who knows I suffer this way.
I turn onto my street all dark and cold. I dial the number Im home I say.
I climb into bed, Im so clad I did not stay. Tomorrow comes I start another day.
Why did I do I thought he loved me , that this was his way and maybe it would all change. It just stayed the same.
I was just a porn in his stupid game.
Im happy now back on my own. No one to touch me to mess with my brain.
I was the best thing you had ,your life must be void.
One thing my friend my heart never lies I knew from the start you were weak inside.
Look at my photos of which there are none. You never took one to busy off haveing fun with your friends.
When you call and text I will never respond everything you done can never be fixed. I should of left you way back when you said I dont wont kids.
I hate you so much there it was said.
Now I can cladly sleep well in my bed.
The phone rings once it was not him. I know its mean but i just want him suffering. He makes me feel guilty, dirty un clean.
How do you love someone and be so dumb, always thinking that our time will surely come. I will not say hate thats just not right.
It something diffrent Im feeling tonight. He is not missed how can he be. What was I there for just to make the tea.
He loved me lots when I was full of glee siting there in my new nickers happerly. To the bedroom off we went, the act was done no big event.
Whats wrong with you? you can not stay Im up early I have such a busy day.
You are a pig I want to say.
Call me later so I know your safe, all he wants is me out of his place.
Im driveing now on the 405. This place is strange I just seam to be bearley alive
There is no one to call this late at night who cares who knows I suffer this way.
I turn onto my street all dark and cold. I dial the number Im home I say.
I climb into bed, Im so clad I did not stay. Tomorrow comes I start another day.
Why did I do I thought he loved me , that this was his way and maybe it would all change. It just stayed the same.
I was just a porn in his stupid game.
Im happy now back on my own. No one to touch me to mess with my brain.
I was the best thing you had ,your life must be void.
One thing my friend my heart never lies I knew from the start you were weak inside.
Look at my photos of which there are none. You never took one to busy off haveing fun with your friends.
When you call and text I will never respond everything you done can never be fixed. I should of left you way back when you said I dont wont kids.
I hate you so much there it was said.
Now I can cladly sleep well in my bed.
Friday, December 14, 2007
New Self
The new me is coming not soon enough. I pray for the things that I love the best. A boy a girl one at each breast. Will my twins come out of this horrible mess.
I was a stupid fool Im evil and cruel. What happened to my heart was it ever there at all.
We all say we are damaged messed up from the start..
The truth is, this feeling it is breaking my heart.
Who do I tell this secret to.
I thought I could keep it between me and you.
They say God forgives I know it is true.
I can not live with myself. Oh what did I do.
I hate him I hate me for the mistakes that I made, I have ruined a life sorry not one but two.
So new self hurry up and come take me away from all that I have done. My pity my shame.
God is here he knows my heart. I pray for a baby and a fresh new start.
I was a stupid fool Im evil and cruel. What happened to my heart was it ever there at all.
We all say we are damaged messed up from the start..
The truth is, this feeling it is breaking my heart.
Who do I tell this secret to.
I thought I could keep it between me and you.
They say God forgives I know it is true.
I can not live with myself. Oh what did I do.
I hate him I hate me for the mistakes that I made, I have ruined a life sorry not one but two.
So new self hurry up and come take me away from all that I have done. My pity my shame.
God is here he knows my heart. I pray for a baby and a fresh new start.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Strangers
He could be me she could be you. New names new faces I never knew Some say they are good when they are really bad.
What a dissapointment Im truley sad. What did you do how was it said are these things all made up in my head.
I wanted an Angel but I I got Jay instead.
I may be meak I may be small I never learnt this stuff at School. I always trust and then I fall.
I dont know anything at all. Some come on strangers Im ready for you , just be my friends and love me too.
I wont judge so you should not too.
What a dissapointment Im truley sad. What did you do how was it said are these things all made up in my head.
I wanted an Angel but I I got Jay instead.
I may be meak I may be small I never learnt this stuff at School. I always trust and then I fall.
I dont know anything at all. Some come on strangers Im ready for you , just be my friends and love me too.
I wont judge so you should not too.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Frozen Heart
When you are trying to figure it all out your heart aches. Should you more forward or give it yet one more chance. You know what is right, but who wants to believe that you have been used for years and deceived,not loved ,not wanted not good enough just someone to be picked up ,just to be thrown back down again. The tears will not roll down my cheeks for they have traveled that route before. My heart is frozen I just don't want it to thaw. You are so cruel but I scream out for more.
I wish I could run just never look back faster and faster but you always catch up.
Don't fool me again because I will hit back.
You took from me twice two lives that were mine how do I get over that crime.
You sleep in your bed without any remorse. How do I love you. You were the absolute worst.
I wish I could run just never look back faster and faster but you always catch up.
Don't fool me again because I will hit back.
You took from me twice two lives that were mine how do I get over that crime.
You sleep in your bed without any remorse. How do I love you. You were the absolute worst.
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